Bird nesting can be a tougher arrangement for couples who are not on the same page.
Financial advisor Michelle Buonincontri, who specializes in divorce at Being Mindful in Divorce in Phoenix, personally tried this arrangement for about three months during her own divorce.
At the time, Buonincontri and her husband kept their New York home. She would stay with her sister while her now ex-husband was in the home; he would stay at his parents’ house when she was there.
But the arrangement wasn’t exactly evenly beneficial, Buonincontri said. While her ex-husband had his own living space and privacy at his parents’ house, she stayed on her sister’s couch.
When Buonincontri returned to the central home, she would often find house work left to be done, which she said made her feel it was being treated as a hotel.
The former couples’ schedules also did not match up. While Buonincontri worked from home exclusively, her former husband wouldn’t return home from work until seven or eight at night.
Because Buonincontri was the primary caregiver and did not have a permanent living situation, the couple eventually put an end to the arrangement by having Buonincontri stay in the home full time.
The short-lived situation took an emotional toll, Buonincontri said.
“Divorce is the death of a relationship,” Buonincontri said. “The arrangement didn’t help out with separateness and healing. It was just more of the same.”